Time is precious and it is everything.

It felt ridiculously real and beautiful.

what would I do?… probably anything.

what will I do?… nothing.

I feel a sense of satisfaction.

NOT in the greatest mood.

It’s about to rain, so I have this massive pressure headache. I wish it would rain already…

Anyway, I hate how I can still get frustrated with some things. I hate how when I think things are finally going in my favour, something stops me in my tracks. I’m not upset or sad.. I’m MAD. I’m just mad right now. And I know I just need to take a few breaths, assess the situation and I’ll be okay. But right now, at this very moment, my blood is boiling.

Okay! so!

The past 2 days have been amazing. Thursday morning kind of sucked ass because there was just so much at work that I was overwhelmed that I wanted to cry so bad on my hour lunch, but I sucked it up, watched some Ellen, then went back to work. I pretty much caught up on everything in the morning, so the afternoon was pretty chill. I met 4 people from the biggest account I manage. I was so nervous about what could come from this meeting, SO NERVOUS. But the meeting was actually good. Service is never perfect wherever you go, but I will strive for that perfection. Then we all went for dinner. There were 8 of us total. It’s was the first time I’ve ever been to a dinner like this. I sat beside the VP of our company, and the Transportation Manager of my account, and we got along pretty well. I really enjoyed it. All that time I spent being nervous and worried was a waste, but it’s just how I am. I get nervous when I meet parents, so obviously I would be equally, if not more, nervous to meet the big name people working for one of my biggest accounts.

Yesterday, work was nothing special. Just a regular Friday. Actually, I shouldn’t say that because lately Friday’s at work are the reasons I love weekends. But this Friday was chill. There was catching up from Thursday because I left early for the meeting, but that only took a couple of hours to get all caught up. When work was done, I had to rush home and get ready and drive to London for a friend’s birthday. It was the first time I’ve ever been to London. That’s the furthest I’ve ever driven alone. But with some tunes cranked in the car, and the excitement of the night ahead of me, it wasn’t that bad (besides the hour traffic I was stuck in all the way up to Georgetown -.- that was not fun). So when I finally got there, we went to the bar and there was a mechanical bull!!!! To me, that’s freaking exciting!! AND we got free tickets because it was hers and another guy’s bday. So it’s was a neat (and embarrassing lol) experience. But what’s life without a little embarrassment? (BORING THATS WHAT!) Plus, I’m used to being embarrassed, I’ve just learned to accept it lol. Everyone there was so cool, and friendly. I really loved it. Sometimes I like going to friend’s parties alone because it gets me out of my comfort zone and allows me to meet new and exciting people, which is what happened!

The drive home wasn’t as fantastic though lol… but I took a nap when I got home.

Anywho, those were the amazing 2 nights so far, and I just hope the rest of the weekend continues this way.

Don’t get me wrong…

I have a good life. I have a wonderful mother and step-father but…

my life is not at all how I ever pictured it. It seems like a lot of people around me have the life that I used to think I would have, the life I pictured me having at this time. It’s not a bad thing that it didn’t work out that way, I just think life would be completely different if certain things didn’t happen, and if certain things did happen.

I think about it often. What my life is versus what I expected it to be. Some of it has to do with bad luck, good luck, decisions I could control and things that happened out of my control.

Like I said, I have a good life… but it’s just different than how I thought it would be.